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Free-styling Downtown with Heidi

Several days ago, Heidi Phox and I were discussing the prospect of retirement from this lifestyle of ours. And when I say retirement, I don't mean that we can suddenly rid ourselves of this gender dysphoria we both deal with; rather, it seems that both of us have reached a point in our lives where we're satisfied with who we are and don't necessarily need to dress up en femme to prove it to ourselves and others. This whole topic came up because Heidi actually blogged about retirement recently, and unbeknownst to her, I had recently confided in two of my closest friends that I was losing the desire to dress up as a girl and venture out into public.

In my case, I had the perfect opportunity in January to spend the morning as a girl doing whatever I wanted, but I didn't take advantage of it. I then had another day in January to dress, and I skipped on that opportunity as well. As I reflected on my feelings inside, I came to the conclusion that perhaps I was satisfied with the results I've achieved as a girl and it was now time to devote my energy to other things. During this mood swing of mine, Heidi expressed similar feelings on her website, and when I read it, I immediately emailed her and said, "You won't believe this, but I'm having the exact same feelings." I then told her that I had a string of days available in the upcoming week with my wife out of town, so we'll see how I feel. Heidi sent me the cutest response, which was essentially, "Well...I am free on Friday if you are."

Both Heidi and I immediately snapped out of our blues and began planning what would turn out to be quite a haphazard outing. We had less than 48 hours to prepare, and so we scrambled in regards to choosing a destination and coordinating our outfits. We ultimately decided that we would both bring a change of clothes so we could take photos in two outfits; and then we agreed to meet at a large indoor/outdoor mall in the heart of the city. The downtown area of our city is about 40 minutes from my home, and it's an area that I've always wanted to visit en femme, but I've never been able to justify the nearly 90 minute round trip when I have so many other places closer to home. Still, Heidi and I love new adventures, and so I was totally on board.

The first outfit I chose for the day was a long sleeve sweater with navy and white horizontal strips layered over a pair of black footless tights with darling lace bottoms. I wore a pair of sheer, nude pantyhose beneath the footless tights and then capped my look off with my black ballet flats. While we have been enjoying mild winter days this year in the West, this morning happened to be quite chilly, and so I took along my white American Eagle down coat, which I would end up wearing the entire time because it was cold out.

Heidi and I agreed to meet at 11 AM, but since I had never visited this mall before, I felt lost from the beginning. After parking my SUV in the underground parking, I began to panic a bit because I was disoriented and didn't know the best way out of the garage. There were several elevators here and there and then an escalator that went high up into the Macy's department store, but I was in a new place dressed en femme and feeling some trepidation. I finally found a flight of stairs that exited onto one of the city streets, and so I carefully peeked out the door and stepped out into the unknown. Once I was on the city street, my nerves calmed a bit, and it really felt good to walk towards what I thought was our meeting place. With most people still in their office, there wasn't a lot of foot traffic, but I did pass by plenty of people on my way to the meeting point.

Heidi and I agreed to meet at a certain fountain, and so I arrived at this pretty rock fountain that bordered the street we had talked about. It turns out, though, that this mall has an East and a West section, and Heidi was referring to the fountain in the West section while I was waiting by the fountain to the East. At this point, I had no idea where I was or where Heidi was, and so I frantically texted her letting her know where I was and what I was seeing. Heidi eventually figured out where I was bless her heart, and after about 15 minutes of panic, I finally saw this pretty girl walking towards me dressed in a smart sweater, jeans, and boots with perfect girl sunglasses.

Both relieved at having found each other, we crossed the street out of the mall area in order to take some pictures at a scenic square in the heart of the city. After walking across the street, a panhandler was sitting across the way and spotted us saying, "Hello ladies, can you help me out?" I replied that I was sorry that I didn't have any cash with me (which was true), and so he said thank you and then blurted out what I thought was, "Nice boots!" Heidi on the other hand looked at me with a surprise and said, "Did he just say 'Nice boobs?!'" We both just laughed at the remark, and I think it helped settle our nerves and get right to the photo ops.

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