Frequently Asked Questions About
season tends to be the slowest when it comes to finding opportunities to
dress like a girl, and the explanation for that is quite simple: my
regular life as a guy becomes so hectic this time of year that there
just isn't room for quality girl time. I try and sneak outings here and
there, but for the most part, I am resigned to counting the days until
summer comes, a season of the year where I always have ample time to
cross dress as a girl.
When life gets hectic, not only does my girl time dwindle, but other
house-keeping duties suffer as well like replying to my email. My intent
is to send a meaningful reply to each email I get, but as many of you
know, sometimes it can take a month or more for me to reply. This
happens to be one of those seasons, and so in lieu of an actual outing
in public to blog about so far this month, I thought it would be fun to
reveal the most frequently asked questions directed to me via email
along with my answers to them.
Here goes in no particular order...
Are you retiring?
This question came about after I blogged back in February that Heidi
Phox and I had actually discussed the prospect of retirement from our
girl sides. Both of us had stellar years in 2014, and we were able to
check off many of the items on our bucket lists, and so we found it
interesting at the start of 2015 that we didn't have the same desires to
While I can't speak directly for Heidi, I think what happened in my case
was that I had reached a certain level in my cross dressing that
satisfied me, and so when similar opportunities came along, they didn't
seem as appealing to me as they once were. I think this is best
explained by talking about phases in the life of a cross dresser. It
wasn't too long ago that if I had 30 minutes to myself, I would dash
into my closet and slip into a bra and panties and maybe pantyhose with
a skirt if I was lucky. I didn't have time to dress fully en femme, but
just the mere chance to underdress like that for 30 minutes was
appealing to me. The more I progressed in my dressing, however, the less
appealing simple underdressing became, and now even if I have an hour to
myself, I don't bother underdressing just for the sake of underdressing.
These days, a visit to Walmart or the grocery store en femme has become
so routine that I think I'm now looking for a more in depth experience
en femme. Regardless, the short answer to the question above is a
resounding NO, I am absolutely not retiring from my girl side. I
couldn't do it if I tried.
Is that your real hair?
I love this question because it means that my look is quite convincing.
It doesn't matter how expensive a wig is, if people know that you're
wearing one, they will scrutinize the rest of your look as well, and so
the trick is to create hair so natural looking that people can't tell
it's a wig. I pride myself in this area, and so when I get this
question, I know that I'm doing something right.
So, the answer to the question is no, that is not my real hair, but
please don't stop asking!!
How does your wife feel about your cross dressing?
I talk about the origins of coming out to my wife as a cross dresser in
my history page and how she was excited to participate with me that
first Halloween, but I will never forget the look on her face on
November 1st when we put the kids to bed and I jumped up and changed
into women's clothing yet again. I already had a modest wardrobe built
up that wasn't hidden by then, and I had been
pantyhose and tights openly in front of her a year or so before then, so
she really couldn't all of a sudden say throw those things away now, but
I could see the worry in her eyes when she realized that my desires to
dress weren't just confined to a Halloween costume.
We have always had a rock solid marriage from the beginning, and so my
desire to dress up in women's clothes aside from Halloween won't take
down our marriage, but her level of tolerance can vary depending on her
mood and the level of stress in her life at the moment. For the first
few years after that Halloween, I would actually tell her when I'd dress
up en femme and go shopping, etc., and I would freely dress up in front
of her when I thought the moment was right, but once our kids reached
school age, she asked me not to dress around the house anymore.
Aside from wearing panties and pantyhose on chilly days, she has not
seen me dressed en femme since then, and our relationship in terms of my
cross dressing has become a "don't ask don't tell" policy. I still have
my wardrobe, and I assume she notices from time to time that it changes,
but she doesn't ask about it, and I no longer tell her when I have my
girl outings. I also never take away from family time to cross dress,
and so my only girl times now comes when the entire family is away. Most
of my outings occur in the AM when the kids are at school and my wife
will be gone for a few hours. While my wife is accepting of the fact
that I cross dress, I know that deep down she wishes it wasn't so.