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Buying A New Bikini Top

One of the goals with my cross dressing is to try and integrate myself into the mainstream public as a woman. We all go through various stages as we deal with our transgender condition, and one of the very first stages is just wearing the clothing. After we've been there and done that in dressing as a woman, I think the next logical step is for us to step outside and begin to enter society as a woman. Though I've had various adventures over the years, one thing that I would like to do someday is to visit a public pool as a woman and swim. The logistics of pulling this off are something that I have yet to fully plan, but as I was thinking about this, the thought of a bathing suit of course came to mind, especially the prospect of one day wearing a bikini.

I have wanted a woman's bathing suit for a long time, but I haven't purchased one yet because I don't like to own anything if it's not something that I'll actually wear out in a public setting. For this reason, I don't own a lot of dresses even though I adore them. My adventures usually occur in the AM, and I rarely visit a place that would call for a dress, so as a result, I spend more of my time shopping for casual separates than I do more formal clothing. In regards to bathing suits, I'm not quite ready yet to take a dip in the public pool, but just thinking about that made me want to be able to go out in a bikini top and my short shorts. I of course wouldn't go shopping dressed like that, but it would be fun to go to the lake or to the beach wearing a bikini top, especially on a hot summer day.

My intention today wasn't to actually buy a bikini top; rather, on the advice from my friend Rebecca, I wanted to go out and do some shopping for a racer back bra. I haven't been all that interested in racerback bras, probably because they didn't exist when I was growing up, and my brain is attached to more conventional bras, but one day this week as I was driving home underdressed, I looked in my rearview mirror at my reflection and noticed one of my bra straps visible beneath my t-shirt. Instinctively, I adjusted the other bra strap inwards so it was visible as well, and it looked as if I was wearing a racerback bra. I got the idea that it would be fun to underdress a racerback bra so the straps would be more visible even when I had to wear a t-shirt or a guy shirt. Lately, I've seen a lot of girls wearing racerback bras, and I know this because when they lift up their hair to adjust it, you can see the straps of their bras peeking through the wide neckline of their tops.

I do have one bra by Lily of France that can convert into a racerback bra, but it's a teal color, and I want one in white or beige for some reason. My intended use of the racerback bra would be to wear mostly when I underdress, so I'm looking for one in an a-cup that I could wear without breast forms. This morning, I had a few hours to dress, and so I decided to visit the local Fred Meyer and begin shopping for racerback bras.

Since it was a weekday morning, I decided that a casual outfit would be best, and so I started with a green flowery top by Ann Taylor. Not only is this top so comfy, but it has a subtle a-line cut that really enhances my figure. It's also a top that I can wear over a black bra, and so after my shower, it was fun to change into a black bra and panties as I did my makeup. I chose to pair this top with my boyfriend capri denims from J.Crew that I purchased recently. I always wondered why they called them boyfriend jeans, but after buying my first pair, I realize that the cut is quite loose around the hips and bottom, and so they're really comfortable jeans for girls like us who have a little bit extra in a certain area. These particular jeans fold up around the cuffs of each leg, and I loved how they looked with this Ann Taylor top. To cap off my outfit I chose to wear my white strappy sandals that highlight my painted toenails, and so after doing my makeup and hair, I was ready to do some bra shopping.

At this particular Fred Meyer, the lingerie section is located in the corner of the women's department, and to get there, you have to walk past every other section of clothing. On my way to the Intimates Department, I came across a clearance wall of bathing suits, and so I stopped to look around. This isn't the first time I've looked at bathing suits actually. Whenever I come across a sale on swimsuits online, I like to look at the bikini tops to find styles that would actually work with my body. When I say that, I obviously have to use other means than my natural breast tissue to fill out the cups of the bikini, and so I would need one with slightly larger cups. As I perused through the various offerings, I came across a bikini top in a bright orange that looked perfect for my body type. This top had larger cups that fastened around the back in a tied knot, and then they also tied up around the back of the neck in a knot. I definitely need a bikini top with straps around the shoulder and / or the neck, and so this one would work.


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