My Music as a Girl
you to all of my friends and readers who have emailed me the last little
while wondering if everything was okay. I am doing just fine, and life
is at that stage right now where everything gets so hectic that it's
just so hard to squeeze in time as a girl. All of that is normal this
time of year for me, and as the summer approaches, I will have more
opportunities to go out as a girl, and then I will have my usual
extended girl time around July (yay!!). So, as I wait for the next
window of girl time to open, I thought it'd be fun to blog on a subject
that has been on my mind for some time now: music.
Since I am in the IT industry and work more in the field of software
engineering and development, I'm able to listen to music most of the day
through headphones while I work. Though I'm not exclusively an Apple
person, I do think that iTunes is the best way to listen to music, and
so one of the first things I start each day on my computer is the iTunes
software. I like iTunes because they allow me to easily create
playlists, and then they also keep track of various stats.
As I navigate through the various lists in iTunes (Playlists, Recently
Played, Top 25 Most Played, etc.), it just makes me laugh because all I
see are icons of musicians that would usually be found on the iPod of a
teenage girl. For example, I took a screen capture of my Top 25 Most
Played songs, and this is what it looks like.
You can see that they lumped small icons from four different artists
popular with me at the upper left and going clockwise from top left you
have icons for Jackie Evancho, Adele, Selena Gomez, and Katy Perry.
That's not exactly the list you'd see on iTunes that belonged to an
alpha male, and that's fine by me.
I was also a bit surprised that Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus is my
current number one played, but when that song came out, I couldn't get
enough of it. I'm not a huge fan of Miley Cyrus because she's become
quite vulgar for my taste, but I will recognize good music when I hear
it, and I thought that was an amazing song. The number 2 most popular
song is one of my all time favorites, Back To December by Taylor Swift.
In fact, Taylor Swift has 7 songs in my list of top 25. Taylor's music
has such an impact on me because her lyrics are written from the
perspective of a girl who is in her late teens or early twenties, and
that's an age group that I was never able to experience as a girl.
The internet really didn't become mainstream until I was in my late
20's, and so for the first 30 years or so of my life, I was a very
confused individual. In my 30's is when I began to come out to my wife
and really explore my feminine side and feelings as a transgender
person, and so I think I'm really pulled towards Taylor Swift's music
because she is helping me make up for all those lost years in my late
teens and early twenties. Her lyrics are also the best, especially her
frequent references to girl's fashion. Some of my favorite examples are:
And I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt ♪ - From
♪ Standing in a nice dress staring at the sunset ♪ - From Wildest
♪ I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress ♪ - from Love
♪ She wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts, she's cheer captain, and
the bleachers ♪ - from You Belong to Me
When Taylor released 1989, I kept waiting for the song Wildest Dreams to
be released as a single. I just loved the chorus to that song as I tried
to picture a beautiful girl standing in a nice dress and staring at the
sunset. In fact, that song moved me so much that one day I hope to do a
photo shoot where I'm standing in a nice dress and staring at the
sunset. I've even envisioned climbing to the top of a nearby mountain,
transforming to a fully en femme appearance on the peak, and then doing
a photo shoot in a nice dress as the sun sets. For now, however, I'll
just post pictures of me in this diary entry wearing one of my favorite
nice dresses for which I just can't seem to find an occasion to wear in
public darn it.